Director: Kim Friedman Starring: Sada Thompson, James Broderick, Gary Frank, Kirsty McNichol, Quinn Cummings, Michael Biehn
Certificate: N/A
Plot
TV series Family follows the lives of the Lawrence family from Pasadena, California. In this episode, Buddy Lawrence meets school basketball player Jake who is in hospital with a broken leg. Meanwhile, Annie Cooper vies for class president.
Oh yes, we're going obscure with this one, but whilst browsing YouTube recently, I came across Michael's one-off appearance in an episode of the 1970s TV series Family which, according to IMDB, first aired on 1st March 1979. I therefore decided, what better way to waste a Saturday afternoon in COVID-19 lockdown than with a watch and review? You too can enjoy this slice of 70s middle-class American family life by watching the episode here.
As far as I know, Family was never shown in the UK, though feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, so I have no prior experience with this show. It's the sort of thing I could easily find myself binging on to wile away the hours and I can see why it was popular in its day. It's definitely a little... odd though.
In this episode entitled 'The Athlete', teenager Buddy Lawrence (Kristy McNichol) is volunteering at the local hospital with her friend Audrey who's excited that the school basketball star (guess who?) has been admitted due to a broken leg. "He's 6'2..." she swoons. I think he's 6' actually, but close enough "...blue eyes..." Well, no, actually, you're mistaken again; they're green but carry on: "...kinda blonde hair." at least she got that right. Apparently, he's a synch to the make the state basketball team. Now, wait just one second, haven't we met this kid before?
Yep, it seems our young fetus Biehn found a niche playing hot teenage, slightly arrogant school basketball stars in the 70s. However, this time, he's ditched the older coach and is now going by the name Jake McAllister instead. He also seems to be hanging out with a random ten-year-old boy this time; geez Biehn, hang out with some people your own age for a change!
Of course, as any of us would, Buddy can't resist finding an excuse to go and see Jake in his hospital room. They proceed to do some awkward 70s teenage flirting, which involves Buddy signing Jake's leg cast with the most underwhelming signature I've seen. Put some effort into it girl.
Later, Buddy overhears two consultants discussing the possibility that Jake could have cancer in his leg and may need to have it removed - that escalated quickly! Of course, she does what we'd all do and immediately goes home and breaks all patient confidentiality by telling her brother Willie (Gary Frank). Seriously dude, he doesn't even know himself yet! She asks Willie what she should do, "just pray" he replies. Hmm, maybe ask someone else next time Buddy!
The following day, Buddy tries to console Jake who is now aware of his condition. What I'd really like to know, is where the hell Jake's parents are throughout this whole ordeal? Why has it been left to a girl he's known 24 hours to look after him; should I be calling social services? I guess we're not meant to ask those sort of questions. Anyway, in the midst of all this teen angst, we do get to hear this fantastically inappropriate line from Jake: "Are you one of those chicks who has a thing for cripples?" Strange kink, but I'm not judging.
Inevitably Buddy and Jake soon make up with a heart-to-heart at the gym followed by some kissy-kissy time (I guess Buddy IS one of those chicks). Buddy then reassures Jake that she'll be there for him regardless. Of course, Michael is never seen again in this TV show, so I guess once the leg's gone, she's gone too.
I've not even mentioned the other plot in this episode, which involves a terrifying woman-child named Annie Cooper (Quinn Cummings) who dresses in waistcoats and speaks like an eighty-year-old woman. Annie is running for class president and does so by making hats, posters and, most randomly of all, acquiring a monkey named Darwin (I see what they did there) from god knows where. I realise I'm about fifty years too late with this warning but don't do it, honey. It's a trap and is simply a popularity contest that will make you feel miserable for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE... unless you win, in which case great, carry on.
And that, was my trip back to 70s suburbia courtesy of Michael Biehn. It was sweet, innocent and kinda fun. I might even do it again some time.
Conclusion
There's not a huge amount to say in recommending you watch a random episode of a TV series that ended 40 years ago, but there are worse ways to spend 45 minutes of your life. It is stuff like this that YouTube is made for. I don't want to watch Logan Paul film dead bodies and upload them to YouTube; I want to watch corny shows from the 70s and 80s and remember when times were just that little bit more innocent.
IMDB: 7.6/10 (episode rating as of October 2021)
Dies? / Villain?
ALIVE! Minus a leg though. / I think this show is probably too pure to have villains and Michael is essentially just a kid here.
What Did This TV Show Teach Me?
Hospital staff in the 1970s wore delightful pinstripe pink dresses!
Patient confidentiality meant fuck all back then.
Monkeys are easier to get hold of for school projects than I realised.
Anything Else?
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