Director: William Friedkin Starring: David Caruso, Linda Fiorentino, Chazz Palminteri, Michael Biehn Certificate: 18 (UK), R (USA)
"Some fantasies go too far."
Plot
After a wealthy art dealer is found murdered in gruesome circumstances, District Attorney David Corelli's investigation leads him into a world of sex, corruption and crime in which Corelli's ex Trina becomes the lead suspect. After that things get a little patchy and at some point Michael Biehn becomes the bad guy.
SPOILERS AHEAD...
The 1990s loved an erotic thriller, there were so many to choose from and they later became a mainstay for the 9pm slot when channel five first launched in the UK. I'm sure the pause and rewind buttons on the VCR remote controls of many a lonely man (and woman) became worn down as they watched their favourites sexually cavorting on screen.
Here smack bang in the middle of the erotica wave, we have Jade led by the normally watchable David Caruso playing a character with a name that could easily double for his naughty hotel alter ego: David Corelli. Don't expect any ginger-tinged nudity from Caruso however, he barely removes his hands from his pockets for 90 minutes as he moodily moves around San Francisco trying to figure out who the mysterious Jade is while we as an audience wonder what the hell is going on.
We learn early on that the murder victim was paying prostitutes to have sex with wealthy men (including the state governor) at his beach house and filming them to later blackmail them. Corelli's ex Trina, played by Linda Fiorentino, becomes suspect number one after her fingerprints are recovered from the murder scene and she's later discovered on one of the tapes recovered from the beach house.
Everything gets a little bit tangled and confusing from this point forward as Corelli tries to figure out the identity of the most popular prostitute Jade who will do anything the men want. We're treated to a car chase which is presumably where most of this movie's $50 million budget went however it's so damn dull and feels like it lasts about half an hour. 'Highlights' include Corelli mowing down many poor Asians in a Chinatown parade. Seriously this film is from the same guy who made The French Connection; how did it go so wrong!
The erotic scenes in Jade are mostly courtesy of Fiorentino, including one sex scene with Chazz Palminteri who makes some of the oddest sex noises I've ever heard. In the 1990s, Fiorentino had a knack for playing the sexy, bored woman well but it's hard to tell in Jade if she's acting or just a bit pissed off with the direction of her career.
One genuinely (unintentional?) laugh out loud moment occurs as a cop assisting on the case reads out the full specs of 'The Harmony Pillow' found at the beach house explaining it "allows deeper penetration by positioning both partners most advantageously. It raises the female hips, facilitating male entry. You can inflate the pillow to varying degrees of hardness or softness while enjoying the thrill of rotary and floating action" It was like someone had given Friedkin a $20,000 backhander to stick a bit of product placement in the middle of the movie.
As for our man Michael Biehn, he plays a supporting role and is back sporting his now trademark "I'm playing a baddie" moustache, except he's not a baddie for three-quarters of the movie and even at the end when he is revealed to be one, I'm not really sure what his motive was. He spends most of the movie as a cop assisting in the case and not bringing much to the story, it's a bizarre development and I even later re-watched this to be sure I hadn't missed something. I hadn't.
The movie's main problem seems to be the script; it's just not very good and even having a great cast can't save it. Writer Joe Eszterhas might have nailed it with Basic Instinct but perhaps he should have stopped there; this movie is just sleazy and dull and not all that erotic.
Conclusion
I try and find positives with every movie I watch but I did struggle a bit with this one. It has a great cast and it's stylish to look at as you'd expect from William Friedkin but I didn't come away with the sense of having watched something with a satisfying conclusion. There's no-one to root for as even the main character Corelli is a pain in the arse and just a bit too cold. Add to the fact that it's confusing and with twists that serve no real purpose and I'd not rush to watch this again.
Jade is available to buy on DVD, Blu-Ray and on Amazon Prime Video.
IMDB: 5.3/10 Rotten Tomatoes: Critics = 13%, Audience = 27% (As of October 2021)
Dies? / Villain?
DEAD! Shot three times by Chazz Palminteri's character. / He is one of many despicable characters in this movie.
What does Michael Say?
"Well, on Jade, I had no idea what I was doing. I don’t think anybody had any idea what they were doing. It was a Joe Eszterhas script. To me, none of it ever really made any sense. I didn’t realize until the read-through that I was the bad guy in it. It was like a jumbled mess. And the movie came out a mess, too." AV Club February 2012
What Did This Movie Teach Me?
Small silver trinket pots make excellent storage devices for pubic hair.
Anything Else?
There is an extended director's cut out there somewhere if you did enjoy this one. Perhaps those extra minutes clear up the confusion? Or more likely show more of Linda Fiorentino's breasts.
William Friedkin reportedly says this is his favourite movie he ever made. I don't agree.
The movie earned two Golden Raspberry Award nominations for Worst Screenplay and Worst New Star (for David Caruso).
When teaching Andy how to speak to girls in the movie 'The 40-Year Old Virgin' Cal suggests, "Be David Caruso in Jade" I wonder how many people get the reference.
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