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Susan's Plan (1998)

Director: John Landis Starring: Nastassja Kinski, Billy Zane, Billy Zane's Wig, Michael Biehn, Rob Schneider, Lara Flynn Boyle, Dan Aykroyd Certificate: 18 (UK), R (USA)

A poster for the 1998 movie Susan's Plan

"Divorce can be murder."


Plot

Susan decides to murder her estranged wealthy husband Paul and pocket the sizeable insurance payment with her new boyfriend Sam. However, after hiring incompetent hitmen Bill and Steve, the job goes wrong. Paul survives, leaving Susan to come up with an alternative plan.

 

SPOILERS AHEAD...


I recall hearing about this movie when it was first announced and my anticipation being pretty big. Ok, so John Landis had just come off the back of the not particularly great Blues Brothers 2000, but he was still responsible for some of the best 80s comedies (American Werewolf/The Blues Brothers/Trading Places being my personal favourites), plus it also starred my favourite comic actor Dan Aykroyd. There was a lot to be excited about before I'd even taken in to account Michael Biehn's involvement. I tried to keep up with developments when I could get near a computer but after a while, it all went very quiet and the movie just kinda dropped off the radar. It wasn't until a few years later that I finally saw it when it premiered on the now-defunct UK channel Carlton Cinema.


Susan's Plan (also known as Dying To Get Rich) wastes absolutely no time getting stuck into its story with the first murder attempt taking place within the first 9 minutes of the movie. The hitmen Bill and Steve are played by Michael Biehn and Rob Schneider and I would never have put money on them having such good on-screen chemistry, but it honestly does work. In fact, I found the chemistry of the whole cast terrific. I could be totally off the mark here, but it feels like one of those movies where the actors seemed to be enjoying themselves.

An image of Nastassja Kinski, Billy Zane, Michael Biehn and Rob Schneider in the 1998 movie Susan's Plan directed by John Landis.
There was an awkward silence at the table after Rob Schneider's joke fell flat.

With the first murder attempt gone wrong, Susan (Nastassja Kinski) and Paul (Billy Zane) instead hire a biker named Bob (Dan Aykroyd) to finish the job. Paul (Adrian Paul) is recovering in hospital from the first attempt and so Bob asks his girlfriend, former prostitute Betty Johnson (Lara Flynn Boyle) to seduce the treating doctor Dr Chris Stillman (Thomas Haden Church) and get Paul moved into a private room.


Bob eventually succeeds with the plan and kills Paul by smothering him with a pillow. However, a police detective figures out the scheme and attempts to arrest all of those involved with only Betty managing to slip away undetected.

An image of Billy Zane and Dan Aykroyd in the 1998 movie Susan's Plan directed by John Landis.
Dan Aykroyd desperately tries to find clues to prove Billy Zane is wearing a wig.

The comedy in this movie is black plain and simple, for example there are several dream sequences involving people being shot at point-blank range or gruesomely having their head smashed in. Don't worry though, there's also a couple of fart jokes thrown in for good measure. There is a real low budget indie feeling about Susan's Plan. There are no big, jazzy actions sequences; instead, we have some dialogue heavy ensemble pieces, a couple of which are perhaps a little bit too long but I found myself laughing out loud more than once despite being a bit of a miserable fucker!


Cast wise, I love when Dan Aykroyd gets to play the bad guy (see Grosse Pointe Blank for the best example). Here he plays Bob completely deadpan which works perfectly amongst the other exaggerated personalities. Lara Flynn Boyle manages to make her character likeable despite her manipulative ways and Billy Zane is funny as the boyfriend trying to hold everything together whilst chaos ensues around him. However, it's Michael Biehn who shines the most. We're used to him being cool whether he's playing the hero or the antagonist, so to see him play an unkempt, dumb ass is so much fun. He can do comedy really well and I only hope he gets to do it again someday.

An image of Rob Schneider, Lara Flynn Boyle, Michael Biehn and Lisa Edelstein in the 1998 movie Susan's Plan directed by John Landis
The Abba tribute act hired for the wrap party failed to impress.

So why does this movie have such negative reviews? It's certainly not perfect. Visually it's a bit dull, some of the dialogue is a little clunky, the middle of the movie does fall a bit flat and the main character of Susan for whom the whole plot is built around is probably the least developed and boring in the movie despite Nastassja Kinski putting in a good performance. There are also some odd plot shifts mid-movie, for example when we're suddenly introduced to Dr Stillman's marriage hungry girlfriend. This happens three-quarters of the way through the movie and we really didn't need to meet her! The other big negative is the ending. We have an odd scene with Betty now working as a waitress in a Las Vegas casino bumping into Dr Stillman; it just feels a bit rushed and incomplete and could have been cut completely.


I would liken Susan's Plan to the time I bought a Cookie Monster doughnut from Dunkin' Donuts. It looked great and I thought it was going to be delicious but on closer inspection, I realised it was coconut flavoured and whilst it was still good, it could have been just that little bit better...

 

Conclusion

I am always fond of movies where a bunch of misfits are somehow thrown into a situation and have to deal with the consequences and I did enjoy Susan's Plan. This movie certainly doesn't deserve the onslaught of negativity it's received online. It's not a classic and there is much to criticise, but it made me laugh and the cast work hard to make the writing work.


It's a shame Susan's Plan hasn't been seen by more people. It didn't get a cinema release and doesn't appear on any online streaming platforms. Finding a copy on DVD or VHS is the only way to watch this movie legally. If you do happen to see it in the TV listings one day, give it a go, you might be pleasantly surprised.


IMDB: 5.2/10 Rotten Tomatoes: Critics = Not enough ratings, Audience = 21% (As of October 2021)


Dies? / Villain?

ALIVE! Under arrest but still breathing. / He's a hitman so I guess that makes him a villain.


What Does Michael Say?

"I just don’t get offers in comedy very often, so when I do I jump on them. I did one with John Landis years ago, Susan’s Plan. It had Dan Aykroyd and Rob Schneider. I played a gangster who couldn’t shoot straight. I had a good time. You’re just laughing the entire time you’re doing it" Broke Horror Fan May 2015


What Did This Movie Teach Me?

  • Michael Biehn doesn't look like he's ever played a computer game in his life.

Anything Else?

  • Billy Zane and Thomas Haden Church appear with Michael in Tombstone and Adrian Paul appears with Michael in Dead Men Can't Dance.

  • The game Michael Biehn plays during one scene is Star Wars: Rebel Assault II. He is now of course part of the Star Wars universe since his 2020 appearance in The Mandalorian. (Wow I am so sorry, I actually bored myself with this piece of trivia!)

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